The Coolest Dad in the Universe

He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I did not know why he was home instead of Mom, but I was young and the only one of my friends who had their dad around. I considered myself very lucky.

 

Dad did so many things for me during my grade-school years. He convinced the school bus driver to pick me up my house instead of the usual bus stop that was six blocks away. He always had my lunch ready for me when I came home - usually a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was shaped for the season. My favorite was at Christmas. The sandwiches would be sprinkled with green sugar and cut in the shape of a tree.

 

As I got a little older and tried to gain my independence, I wanted to move away from those "childish" signs of his love. But he wasn't going to give up. In high school and no longer able to go home for lunch, I began taking my own. Dad would get up a little early and make it for me. I never knew what to expect. The outside of the sack might be covered with his rendering of a mountain scene (it became his trademark) or a heart inscribed with "Dad-n-Angie K.K." in its center. Inside there would be a napkin with that same heart or an "I love you." Many times he would write a joke or a riddle, such as "Why don't they ever call it a momsicle instead of a popsicle?" He always had some silly saying to make me smile and let me know that he loved me.

 

I used to hide my lunch so no one would see the bag or read the napkin, but that did not last long. One of my friends saw the napkin one day, grabbed it, and passed it around the lunch room. My face burned with embarrassment. To my astonishment, the next day all my friends were waiting to see the napkin. From the way they acted, I think they all wished they had someone who showed them that kind of love. I was so proud to have him as my father. Throughout the rest of my high school years, I received those napkins, and still have a majority of them.

 

And still it didn't end. When I left home for college (the last one to leave), I thought the messages would stop. But my friends and I were glad that his gestures continued.

 

I missed seeing my dad every day after school and so I called him a lot. My phone bills got to be pretty high. It did not matter what we said; I just wanted to hear his voice. We started a ritual during that first year that stayed with us. After I said goodbye he always said, "Angie?"

 

"Yes, Dad?" I would reply.

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad."

 

I began getting letters almost every Friday. The front-desk staff always knew who the letter were from - the return address said "The Hunk." Many times the envelopes were addressed in crayon, and along with the enclosed letters were usually drawings of our cat and dog, stick figures of him and Mom, and if I had been home the weekend before, of me racing around town with friends and using the house as a pit stop. He also had his mountain scene and the heart-encased inscription, Dad-n-Angie K.K.

 

The mail was delivered every day right before lunch, so I would have his letters with me when I went to the cafeteria. I realized it was useless to hide them because my roommate was a high school friend who knew about his napkins. Soon it became a Friday afternoon ritual. I would read the letters, and the drawing and envelope would be passed around.

 

It was during this time that Dad became stricken with cancer. When the letters did not come on Friday, I knew that he had been sick and was not able to write. He used to get up at 4:00a.m. so he could sit in the quiet house and do his letters. If he missed his Friday delivery, the letters would usually come a day or two later. But they always came. My friends used to call him "Coolest Dad in the Universe." And one day they sent him a card bestowing that title, signed by all of them. I believe he taught all of us about a father's love. I would not be surprised if my friends started sending napkins to their children. He left an impression that would stay with them and inspire them to give their own children their expression of their love.

 

Throughout my four years of college, the letters and phone calls came at regular intervals. But then the time came when I decided to come home and be with him because he was growing sicker, and I knew that our time together was limited. Those were the hardest days to go through. To watch this man, who always acted so young, age past his years. In the end he didn't recognize who I was and would call me the name of a relative he hadn't seen in many years. Even though I knew it was due to his illness, it still hurt that he could not remember my name.

 

I was alone with him in his hospital room a couple of days before he died. We held hands and watched TV. As I was getting ready to leave, he said, "Angie?"

 

"Yes, Dad?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad."

 

The Army Son

The Creightons were very proud of their son, Frank. When he went to college, naturally they missed him; but he wrote and they looked forward to his letters and saw him on weekends. Then Frank was drafted into the army.

 

After he had been in the army about five months, he received his call to go to Vietnam. Of course, the parents' anxiety for his first letter was greater than ever before. And ever week they heard from him and were thankful for his well-being. Then one week went by without a letter ~ two weeks ~ and finally three. At the end of the third week a telegram came, saying, "We regret to inform you that you son has been missing for three weeks and is presumed to have been killed inaction while fighting for his country."

 

The parents were shocked and grieved. They tried to accept the situation and go on living, but it was tragically lonesome without Frank.

 

About three weeks later, however, the phone rang. When Mrs. Creighton answered it, a voice on the other end said, "Mother, it's Frank. they found me, and I'm going to be all right. I'm in the United States and I'm coming home soon."

 

Mrs. Creighton was overjoyed, with tears running down her cheeks she sobbed, "Oh, that's wonderful! That's just wonderful, Frank."

 

There was silence for a moment, and then Frank said, "Mother I want to ask you something that is important to me. While I have been here, I have met a lot of wonderful people and I've really become close friends with some. There is one fellow I would like to bring home with me to meet you and Dad. And I would like to know if it would be all right if he could stay and live with us, because he has no place to go."

 

His mother assured him it would be all right.

 

Then Frank said, "You see, he wasn't' as lucky as some; he was injured in battle. He was hit by a blast and his face is all disfigured. He lost his leg, and his right hand is missing. So you see, he feels uneasy about how others will accept him."

 

Frank's mother stopped to think a minute. She began to wonder how things would work out, and what people in town would think of someone like that. She said, "Sure frank, you bring him home~ for a visit, that is. We would love to meet him and have him stay for a while; but about him staying with us permanently, well, we'll have to think about that." There was silence for a minute, and then Frank said, "Okay, Mother," and hung up.

 

A week went by without any word from Frank, and then a telegram arrived ~ "We regret to inform you that your son has taken his life. We would like you to come and identify the body."

 

Their wonderful son was gone. The horror stricken parents could only ask themselves, "Why had he done this?" When they walked into the room to identify the body of their son, they found a young man with a disfigured face, one leg missing, and his right hand gone.

 

The Present Moment

There was once a king who decided that if he knew who the most important people to be with were, and what the most important thing to do was, and when the best time to do each thing was, that he would certainly be the finest king ever to rule the land. Although he had asked his advisers, none had been able to give him a good answer to these questions.

At last he decided to ask the advice of a wise hermit. The king dressed in the clothes of a commoner and set out for the forest. When he neared the hermit's hut, he ordered his knights to stay back at a distance, and he rode the last section of trail alone.

The king found the hermit digging in his garden. The old man greeted him but continued digging. The king told the hermit that he had come to find answers to his three questions. The hermit listened but gave no answer and continued working. The king observed that the hermit was frail and elderly and that the work was very difficult for him. The king offered to take over the digging, and the hermit allowed it.

The king dug for one hour. Then he repeated the question, but the hermit did not answer. He worked again for another hour, and then repeated his questions with the same results. This continued for a few more hours until the sun began to sink low in the sky. Finally the king got discouraged. "I came to you for answers wise man. If you have none, tell me and I will return home."

Just them someone came running up the path. They turned to see a man with his hands pressed to his stomach and blood flowing from between them. He dropped to the ground at the king's feet.

The king and the hermit knelt down and began tending to the man. The king washed and bandaged the man's wounds. The blood continued to flow so he had to change the bandages. The king also helped the hermit to get fresh water, and to help the man to drink.

Finally the man slept and did not wake until the next morning. The king too slept upon the ground, waking often to watch over the man. In the morning the man woke up and looked at the king.

"Forgive me," he said to the king.

"You have nothing to forgive me for," the king answered.

"Oh, but I do," he said. "You were my enemy, and I had sworn to take revenge on you for killing my brother and taking my land. I knew that you were coming here today and I decided to kill you on the trail. But when you did not return for many hours I left my hideout to find you. Your guards recognized me and wounded me. I escaped them but I would have bled to death if you had not cared for me. I meant to kill you but now you have saved my life. If I live I shall gladly serve you for the rest of my days."

The king was so happy to have been reconciled with an old enemy that he immediately forgave him and promised to return his land. Then the king called for his knights to carry the man back to his castle to be cared for by his own doctor.

After the wounded man had gone, the king asked the hermit once more if he would not give him the answer to his question.

"Your questions have already been answered." the hermit replied.

"But how?" the king answered, perplexed.

"How?" repeated the hermit.

"If you had not taken pity on my weakness yesterday and helped me instead of returning home, that man would have ambushed and killed you on the trail. Therefore, the most important time was when you were digging my garden beds; and I was the most important person; and the most important thing to do was to do good for me. Later, when the man came running to us, the most important thing to do was to care for him. If you had not bound up his wounds he would have died without making peace with you. Therefore the most important person was that man, and what you did was the most important thing, and the right time was the time when you were doing it. "

 

"You see, the most important time is always the present moment. It is the only time that is important because it is the only time that we have control over. The past we can only look back on and wish that we had done differently. The future we can only imagine. The most important person is always the one you are with in the present moment, and the only important deed is the deed that does what is best for others."

Not My Boss

Not My Boss
A Story by: Melissa Knapp

 

I have heard the phrase "All boss's are jerks" several times through out my life. Granted I have agreed with that statement once or twice during my working years. But over all that is not how I feel about my present boss.

 

My mother and I work in the same plant together. She has been there almost twenty years. I have been there less than ten. It was in 1990, my senior year in high school, that I realized what kind of man this boss was.

 

My grandmother, my mom's mother, past away the morning of February 19, 1990. It was a very unexpected death that traumatized the family. Of course, everyone in the family missed a days work or school that day, and the day of the funeral. My mother was unable to work that week. Before that following Monday, my now present boss, called gave his condolences, and told my mother not to worry about work. Take as many weeks off that she needed. He would still pay her regardless, and her job would be waiting. He sent flowers, and he also had a platter of food sent to our home.

 

Now I, not yet enrolled in the work force, took the time to look closer at what this man did. That year he paid her for five weeks of personal time, three weeks for my grandmother's death, and two weeks normal vacation. He was kind to send flowers and food.

 

From this I grew a deep respect for this man. He did the extra that was not asked of him, nor expected. I will be the first to admit that I do not always agree with his way of thinking, but that in no way has dwindled the respect that I have for him. So when I hear that phrase "All boss's are jerks." I just smile and say "Not my boss".

 

Truly Inspiring.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

God has always been planning things for me'

July 28, 2008

Shobha Warrier

Naga Naresh Karutura has just passed out of IIT Madras in Computer Science and has joined Google in Bangalore.

You may ask, what's so special about this 21-year-old when there are hundreds of students passing out from various IITs and joining big companies like Google?

Naresh is special. His parents are illiterate. He has no legs and moves around in his powered wheel chair. (In fact, when I could not locate his lab, he told me over the mobile phone, 'I will come and pick you up'. And in no time, he was there to guide me)

Ever smiling, optimistic and full of spirit; that is Naresh. He says, "God has always been planning things for me. That is why I feel I am lucky."

Read why Naresh feels he is lucky.

Childhood in a village
I spent the first seven years of my life in Teeparru, a small village in Andhra Pradesh, on the banks of the river Godavari. My father Prasad was a lorry driver and my mother Kumari, a house wife. Though they were illiterate, my parents instilled in me and my elder sister (Sirisha) the importance of studying.

Looking back, one thing that surprises me now is the way my father taught me when I was in the 1st and 2nd standards. My father would ask me questions from the text book, and I would answer them. At that time, I didn't know he could not read or write but to make me happy, he helped me in my studies!

Another memory that doesn't go away is the floods in the village and how I was carried on top of a buffalo by my uncle. I also remember plucking fruits from a tree that was full of thorns.

I used to be very naughty, running around and playing all the time with my friends. I used to get a lot of scolding for disturbing the elders who slept in the afternoon. The moment they started scolding, I would run away to the fields!

I also remember finishing my school work fast in class and sleeping on the teacher's lap!

January 11, 1993, the fateful day
On the January 11, 1993 when we had the sankranti holidays, my mother took my sister and me to a nearby village for a family function. From there we were to go with our grandmother to our native place. But my grandmother did not come there. As there were no buses that day, my mother took a lift in my father's friend's lorry. As there were many people in the lorry, he made me sit next to him, close to the door.

It was my fault; I fiddled with the door latch and it opened wide throwing me out. As I fell, my legs got cut by the iron rods protruding from the lorry. Nothing happened to me except scratches on my legs.

The accident had happened just in front of a big private hospital but they refused to treat me saying it was an accident case. Then a police constable who was passing by took us to a government hospital.

First I underwent an operation as my small intestine got twisted. The doctors also bandaged my legs. I was there for a week. When the doctors found that gangrene had developed and it had reached up to my knees, they asked my father to take me to a district hospital. There, the doctors scolded my parents a lot for neglecting the wounds and allowing the gangrene to develop. But what could my ignorant parents do?

In no time, both my legs were amputated up to the hips.

I remember waking up and asking my mother, where are my legs? I also remember that my mother cried when I asked the question. I was in the hospital for three months.

Life without legs
I don't think my life changed dramatically after I lost both my legs. Because all at home were doting on me, I was enjoying all the attention rather than pitying myself. I was happy that I got a lot of fruits and biscuits.

'I never wallowed in self-pity'

July 28, 2008

The day I reached my village, my house was flooded with curious people; all of them wanted to know how a boy without legs looked. But I was not bothered; I was happy to see so many of them coming to see me, especially my friends!

All my friends saw to it that I was part of all the games they played; they carried me everywhere.

God's hand
I believe in God. I believe in destiny. I feel he plans everything for you. If not for the accident, we would not have moved from the village to Tanuku, a town. There I joined a missionary school, and my father built a house next to the school. Till the tenth standard, I studied in that school.

If I had continued in Teeparu, I may not have studied after the 10th. I may have started working as a farmer or someone like that after my studies. I am sure God had other plans for me.

My sister, my friend
When the school was about to reopen, my parents moved from Teeparu to Tanuku, a town, and admitted both of us in a Missionary school. They decided to put my sister also in the same class though she is two years older. They thought she could take care of me if both of us were in the same class. My sister never complained.

She would be there for everything. Many of my friends used to tell me, you are so lucky to have such a loving sister. There are many who do not care for their siblings.

She carried me in the school for a few years and after a while, my friends took over the task. When I got the tricycle, my sister used to push me around in the school.

My life, I would say, was normal, as everyone treated me like a normal kid. I never wallowed in self-pity. I was a happy boy and competed with others to be on top and the others also looked at me as a competitor.

Inspiration
I was inspired by two people when in school; my Maths teacher Pramod Lal who encouraged me to participate in various local talent tests, and a brilliant boy called Chowdhary, who was my senior.

When I came to know that he had joined Gowtham Junior College to prepare for IIT-JEE, it became my dream too. I was school first in 10th scoring 542/600.

Because I topped in the state exams, Gowtham Junior College waived the fee for me. Pramod Sir's recommendation also helped. The fee was around Rs 50,000 per year, which my parents could never afford.

Moving to a residential school
Living in a residential school was a big change for me because till then my life centred around home and school and I had my parents and sister to take care of all my needs. It was the first time that I was interacting with society. It took one year for me to adjust to the new life.

There, my inspiration was a boy called K K S Bhaskar who was in the top 10 in IIT-JEE exams. He used to come to our school to encourage us. Though my parents didn't know anything about Gowtham Junior School or IIT, they always saw to it that I was encouraged in whatever I wanted to do. If the results were good, they would praise me to the skies and if bad, they would try to see something good in that. They did not want me to feel bad.

They are such wonderful supportive parents.

Life at IIT- Madras
Though my overall rank in the IIT-JEE was not that great (992), I was 4th in the physically handicapped category. So, I joined IIT, Madras to study Computer Science.

Here, my role model was Karthik who was also my senior in school. I looked up to him during my years at IIT- Madras.

He had asked for attached bathrooms for those with special needs before I came here itself. So, when I came here, the room had attached bath. He used to help me and guide me a lot when I was here.

I evolved as a person in these four years, both academically and personally. It has been a great experience studying here. The people I was interacting with were so brilliant that I felt privileged to sit along with them in the class. Just by speaking to my lab mates, I gained a lot.

'There are more good people in society than bad ones'

July 28, 2008

Words are inadequate to express my gratitude to Prof Pandurangan and all my lab mates; all were simply great. I was sent to Boston along with four others for our internship by Prof Pandurangan. It was a great experience.

Joining Google R&D
I did not want to pursue PhD as I wanted my parents to take rest now.

Morgan Stanley selected me first but I preferred Google because I wanted to work in pure computer science, algorithms and game theory.

I am lucky
Do you know why I say I am lucky?

I get help from total strangers without me asking for it. Once after my second year at IIT, I with some of my friends was travelling in a train for a conference. We met a kind gentleman called Sundar in the train, and he has been taking care of my hostel fees from then on.

I have to mention about Jaipur foot. I had Jaipur foot when I was in 3rd standard. After two years, I stopped using them. As I had almost no stems on my legs, it was very tough to tie them to the body. I found walking with Jaipur foot very, very slow. Sitting also was a problem. I found my tricycle faster because I am one guy who wants to do things faster.

One great thing about the hospital is, they don't think their role ends by just fixing the Jaipur foot; they arrange for livelihood for all. They asked me what help I needed from them. I told them at that time, if I got into an IIT, I needed financial help from them. So, from the day I joined IIT, Madras, my fees were taken care of by them. So, my education at the IIT was never a burden on my parents and they could take care of my sister's Nursing studies.

Surprise awaited me at IIT
After my first year, when I went home, two things happened here at the Institute without my knowledge.

I got a letter from my department that they had arranged a lift and ramps at the department for me. It also said that if I came a bit early and checked whether it met with my requirements, it would be good.

Second surprise was, the Dean, Prof Idichandy and the Students General Secretary, Prasad had located a place that sold powered wheel chairs. The cost was Rs 55,000. What they did was, they did not buy the wheel chair; they gave me the money so that the wheel chair belonged to me and not the institute.

My life changed after that. I felt free and independent.

That's why I say I am lucky. God has planned things for me and takes care of me at every step.

The world is full of good people
I also feel if you are motivated and show some initiative, people around you will always help you. I also feel there are more good people in society than bad ones. I want all those who read this to feel that if Naresh can achieve something in life, you can too.

 

 

 

"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do."

 

The Starfish.....

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?" 
 
The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean." "I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?" "The sun is up, and the tide is going out, and if I don't throw them in they'll die." "But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!" 
 
The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."

There is something very special in each and every one of us. We have all been gifted with the ability to make a difference, and if we can become aware of that gift, we gain through the strength of our visions the power to shape the future. 

We must each find our starfish. And if we throw our stars wisely and well, the world will be blessed.

 

A Ten-Cent Idea

When young F. W. Woolworth was a store clerk, he tried to convince his boss to have a ten-cent sale to reduce inventory.

 

The boss agreed, and the idea was a resounding success. This inspired Woolworth to open his own store and price items at a nickel and a dime. He needed capital for such a venture, so he asked his boss to supply the capital for part interest in the store.

 

His boss turned him down flat. "The idea is too risky," he told Woolworth. "There are not enough items to sell for five and ten cents." Woolworth went ahead without his boss's backing, and he not only was successful in his first store, but eventually he owned a chain of F. W. Woolworth stores across the nation. Later, his former boss was heard to remark, "As far as I can figure out, every word I used to turn Woolworth down cost me about a million dollars."

 

birbal the wise

I am Your Servant, Huzoor?

 

Once Akbar and Birbal passed through some farms while riding on their horses. They happened to pass through a cabbage patch. Looking at the patch, Akbar said to Birbal, "What a delightful vegetable the cabbage is. I like it very much." Birbal said, "Huzoor, cabbage is the king of the vegetables." Akbar did not reply to this, and they went on.

 

Another day, they were riding past the same cabbage patches again. This time Akbar made a face, and said, "This cabbage is such a tasteless vegetable. How people tolerate it." Birbal replied, " Yes Huzoor, really it is difficult to even look at such a tasteless vegetable." Akbar again listened to this and they went on.

 

After a while the king remembered something. He said to Birbal, "Birbal, I don't understand you. Last time when we passed through this patch, you told that the cabbage was the king of vegetable, and today you said that "It is even difficult to look at such a tasteless vegetable. What do you mean by that?"

 

Birbal said bowing, "Huzoor, I am your servant, not of cabbage."

 

 

Another Version of This Story

 

Its another version goes like this. One day Akbar and Birbal were roaming around the Royal Gardens . Akbar was in a good mood. So he said to Birbal, "Birbal, eggplant is such a good vegetable that I have never tasted such a delicious vegetable till today." Birbal said, "Yes Huzoor, it is. It is very tasty and delicious, that is why God has put a crown on its head." Akbar was very pleased to hear this that his appreciated vegetable has been crowned by God.

 

After a few weeks again Akbar and Birbal were in the Royal Gardens . Akbar remembered something and spoke to Birbal, "Look Birbal, this eggplant is such a nasty vegetable, that I have never tasted such a tasteless vegetable till today." Birbal said, "Yes Huzoor, it is tasteless. You said it right. That is why its name is "Baygun" (Eggplant's name in India 's local language Hindi is "Bengan". Birbal twisted the name which means "without any good nutrients").

 

Now Akbar got very angry. He said to Birbal, "What is this? Whatever I say, you say the same thing. How is it possible that both the statements are right about eggplant." Birbal bowed a little and said politely, "Huzoor, I am loyal to you, not to eggplant. It cannot do me any favor, you can." Akbar was very pleased to hear this bold, witty and honest response.

The Circus

Once when I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus. Finally, there was only one family between the ticket counter and us. This family made a big impression on me. There were eight children, all probably under the age of 12. You could tell they did not have a lot of money. Their clothes were not expensive, but they were clean. The children were well behaved, all of them standing in line, two-by- two behind their parents, holding hands. They were excitedly jabbering about the clowns, elephants and other acts they would see that night. One could sense they had never been to the circus before. It promised to be a highlight of their young lives.

 

The father and mother were at the head of the pack standing proud as could be. The mother was holding her husband's hand, looking up at him as if to say, "You are my knight in shining armor." He was smiling and basking in pride, looking at her as if to reply, "You got that right."

 

The ticket lady asked the father how many tickets he wanted. He proudly responded, "Please let me buy eight children's tickets and two adult tickets so I can take my family to the circus."

 

The ticket lady quoted the price.

 

The man's wife let go of his hand, her head dropped, the man's lip began to quiver. The father leaned a little closer and asked, "How much did you say?"

 

The ticket lady again quoted the price.

 

The man did not have enough money.

 

How was he supposed to turn and tell his eight kids that he did not have enough money to take them to the circus?

 

Seeing what was going on, my dad put his hand into his pocket, pulled out a $20 bill and dropped it on the ground. (We were not wealthy in any sense of the word!) My father reached down, picked up the bill, tapped the man on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, Sir, this fell out of your pocket."

 

The man knew what was going on. He was not begging for a handout but certainly appreciated the help in a desperate, heartbreaking, embarrassing situation. He looked straight into my dad's eyes, took my dad's hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, and with his lip quivering and a tear streaming down his cheek, he replied, "Thank you, thank you, Sir. This really means a lot to me and my family."

 

My father and I went back to our car and drove home. We did not go to the circus that night, but we did not go without.

 

Power of Positive Talk - Amazing article from the GREAT ONE Dr. APJ ABDUL KALAM

Power of Positive Talk - Amazing article from the GREAT ONE Dr. APJ  ABDUL KALAM

 

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.
One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

 

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did. fall.

 

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

 

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

 

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

 

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

 

The point is made.

 

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

 

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."
People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

 

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

 

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

 

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.

 

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

 

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

 

Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

 

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

 

A good story for all of us to follow in our careers and social life

A good story for all of us to follow in our careers and social life

Once upon a time a Washerman was bringing up two donkeys.

Let us say Donkey-A and Donkey-B.

Donkey-A felt it was very energetic and could do better than the other.  It always tried to pull the washerman's attraction over it by taking more load and walking fast in front of him.

Innocent Donkey-B is normal, so it will walk normal, irrespective of the washerman's presence.  After a period of time, Washerman started pressurising Donkey-B to be like Donkey-A.  But Donkey-B unable to walk fast, got continuous punishment from washerman.  It was crying and told personally to Donkey-A "Dear friend, only we two are here, why to compete with each other....we can carry equal load at normal speed ".

That made Donkey-A all the more energetic and next day it told to washerman that it can carry more load and even it can run fast also.

Obviously happier washerman looked at Donkey-B.., his BP raised and he started kicking Donkey-B. Next day with smile, Donkey-A carried more load and started running fast. But it was breathtaking for Donkey-B and it couldn't act that way....But the washerman was frustrated, so he harassed Donkey-B terribly, and finally it fell down hopelessly.

Then Donkey-A felt itself as a supremo and happily started carrying more load with great speed.  But now the Load of the Donkey-B is also being carried by Donkey-A., and still it has to run fast.   For some period it did, finally due to fatigue it got tired and started feeling the pain.  But washerman expected more from Donkey-A. It also tried best, but couldn't cope up with his owners demand. The Washerman got angry with Donkey-A also and started harassing to take more load... Donkey-A was crying for long time and then tried its best... But it couldn't meet the owner's satisfaction.  Finally the day came when due to frustration the washerman killed Donkey-A and went for searching some other Donkeys.

Its an endless story..........

But the moral of the Story in Corporate and social life is......,

"Think all colleagues are same and that everyone is capable.... Always Share the Load equally..... Don't ever act smart in front of your Boss and never try for getting over-credit...

It doesn't matter if you are 'A' or 'B'

For the Boss you shall be always DONKEY.

 

SUCCESS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN ISOLATION

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.

Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honour and prizes.
One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours'.
"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.
"Why sir, "said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.

If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."
The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves. So it is in the other dimensions!

Those who choose to be at harmony must help their neighbours and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well. The value of a life is measured by the lives it touches….

SUCCESS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN ISOLATION. IT IS VERY OFTEN A PARTICIPATIVE AND COLLECTIVE PROCESS.

So share the good practices, ideas, new learnings with your family, friends, team members, neighbours….

 

Meet Delhi's suicide stopper

Not many people know him, but those who do remember him as the man who gave them a new lease of life when they wanted to end it.

Delhi boatman Abdul Sattar has spent the last 20 years saving people from committing suicide. Sattar is known in Wazirabad - Delhi’s suicide point - as death's nemesis. When not working as a boatman, he keeps a keen eye on Yamuna’s banks.

"It happens the most when the Class X and XII results come out. Even others do it. When I rescue them, they are usually angry. They say, why did you stop me," says Sattar.

Even if those he saves are not happy, their families are. Sometimes that even means huge rewards for Sattar who says nearly 100 unhappy people come to the river every month to end their lives.

When he drags them out, they get his advice for free. "I tell them God has given you one life – don’t give up, fight on," he says.

Abdul is now helped by a volunteer band of suicide stoppers. “It feels good saving people and giving them a new life,” says a volunteer Ganesh.

Rich people, poor people, children who are unhappy with their marks to men who cant pay off their debts, Sattar says he has saved more than 1,000 people in the past two decades. The reason? He has a very simple philosophy: to give life a second chance.

CHILDREN AND ANGELS

I have often felt that children are far closer to the angels than we adults are. They seem far more ready to share joy freely and to give love unconditionally to others. They seem to easily know how to celebrate life, laugh, smile, and embrace delight just as God meant for all of us to do. Nothing brought this point home to my heart more clearly than a story a friend of mine recently shared with me about her daughter.

     Her daughter while mentally handicapped has a soul that shines brighter than a thousand suns. She loves everyone and is never afraid to express her affection to others. Once when she was at Church with her Mom it came time to give others the sign of peace. Now most people do this with a handshake or a gentle touch. This little Angel Child , however, wasn't one to hold back on her love. She turned around and gave a sweet, elderly lady next to her a huge hug full of both energy and love. Later after Church that same lady with tears in her eyes approached the girl's Mom and spoke to her. "My husband just died a week ago", she said. "I felt so alone that I was going to go home and take some pills to end my life today, but now thanks to your little girl I believe that there still is love in this world."

    Our children can teach us so much about love. Our children can teach us so much about joy. Our children can teach us so much about life. Let us not ignore the lessons they give us every day. Let us instead learn from them and share more love and joy with others in our own lives. God loves us and put us here to love each other. Sometimes we forget this, but thankfully God is patient and forgiving with us. He never fails to send us joyous angels and happy children to guide us back to love again.

 

A Gas Station Gift I Couldn't Afford

Just recently, there was a man standing near the islands in the gas station when I pulled in. I had recognized him from before, when I saw him trying to cross 4 lanes of traffic with crutches. He still had his crutches with him.

When I got out of the car he politely asked me if he could pump my gas. I said no thank you and continued on. I started to notice he asked other people the same question, and I realized he was doing it for money, but he wasn't getting any. As I looked at him, he seemed genuinely worn out and running low on energy.

As I passed by him to go inside, he smiled and commented on how hot it was. I agreed, and asked him if he had walked here. He said yes, he is trying to get donations to be able to keep him and his sick wife in a hotel, because that's the only place left for them, besides the street. I went inside the gas station grabbed a couple of cold waters, and went back outside.

As I approached him and handed him the water, he looked at me with teary eyes, then I handed him the change from a twenty. He looked back at me and said, "God Bless You."

My heart felt so good!

I really couldn't afford to give him what I did, but by golly, at least I have the luxury of knowing where I'll be every night. Most people will call me a sucker and I gave into a bum.

I don't believe that. I did what I thought was right.

 

You Are The King

I was in Madrid last week. The King of Saudia Arabia personally invited me to an interfaith summit that he sponsored for world spiritual leaders.

It was pretty cool for a kid from Queens to be hob-nobbing with world leaders, dialoguing on the ills of the world. I have to say, my ego was stroked - for about a minute. That feeling fades fast, as you know.

It was an honor to meet such esteemed men and women, and I'd like to issue a public thank you to the King, truly a visionary reformer.

The reason I am sharing this with you now is because on the plane ride home I kept thinking one thing. This one thing is what my parents taught me, it's what Rav Brandwein taught my father, it's what every great kabbalist throughout history taught one another: talk is cheap, without action.

Never before have spiritual leaders been so into talking about how to make the world a better place. That's a good thing, I am not downplaying by it.

But I will not fool myself into thinking that Kings, Rabbis, Priest, Monks, Imams and Prime Ministers are going to change the world all by themselves.

At the end of the day, the solution to this mess has got to come from the bottom up, not the top down. Consider what Rav Ashlag, founder of The Kabbalah Centre in 1922, writes in The Gift of the Bible:

...he who fulfills one good deed causes himself and the entire world to tip the scale of merit; and woe to him who commits one transgression, for he causes himself and the entire world to tip the scale of demerit...

The only way - THE ONLY WAY - to reverse the tides of negativity is to realize that those seemingly insignificant actions we do - or don't do - is what matters most.

Individual human behavior is what got us into this mess, individual human behavior is what will get us out.

I challenge every reader to really check-in this week. There's no more time to hide behind just talking. We have each got to own up to the fact that most of the time we operate from a selfish desire. Only when we admit this and fight the enemy within, will the enemies without cease to exist.

If you remember only one thing from this thought piece, let it be this:

Your every action counts.

By taking responsibility for increasing your positive actions this week, you are, as Rav Ashlag writes, tipping the scale of merit. And that's something worth talking about.

 

SUCCESS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN ISOLATION

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.

Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honour and prizes.
One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours'.
"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.
"Why sir, "said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.

If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."
The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves. So it is in the other dimensions!

Those who choose to be at harmony must help their neighbours and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well. The value of a life is measured by the lives it touches….

SUCCESS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN ISOLATION. IT IS VERY OFTEN A PARTICIPATIVE AND COLLECTIVE PROCESS.

So share the good practices, ideas, new learnings with your family, friends, team members, neighbours….